I was just on face book and posted the first part of an awesome Elvis tune. Elvis was the shit. Maybe if more people were worried about feelings, and less about sex, the world would be a better place.
When was the last time you thought about someone in terms other than sex? Sure, sex is great. Awesome, if you have the right partner. But I would trade 1001 nights of hot sex for someone who cared 1002 nights. Seriously. I used to ridicule flowers as a gift. They don't last. They fade away into dust and nothingness. Sex lasts, right? For a while. A short while. And then, it too fades. If I reach into my memory, I can remember the feeling of happiness. Rushing home from work. Heart pounding every time the phone rings. Being held throughout the night. Memories. Fairy tales and unicorns. Sheer stupidity.
I'm tired of doing it alone, of being alone. I wish I had someone that I could believe in. Someone who says, "Let me worry tonight. You rest." Someone who can get a good look at me after a long night in the emergency room, facing a cardiac crisis, and still think I am beautiful, and desirable. Yeah, right. More unicorns.
Instead of unicorns, I get reality. "Oh, sorry you had a rough night, but guess what happened to ME?" Or better yet, "what are you wearing?" I don't fucking CARE what happened to you, and I am wearing a girdle, granny panties, a set of Spanx, sweatpants, and a t-shirt from high school that has holes in it, and a good dose of hair dye to hide the splotches of color fade. FUCK YOU. I am sick of late night phone sex, x-rated gifts, and patronizing attitude. I am me. I know what I want, what I deserve. Too bad it's as surreal as unicorns and anime superheroes.
Are you lonesome tonight?
Do you miss me tonight?
Are you sorry we drifted apart?
Are you lonesome tonight,
Do the stars shine as bright?
As they did before you started playing your part?
Is the life that you live
Worth all of the pain?
Do you wish it was different,
And yet still the same?
I can't anymore.
I'm defeated.
I'm done.
I'm ashamed to be lonesome tonight.
