Anyone that knows me understands my convoluted thought process. If properly motivated, I can mind-fuck the simplest of things into oblivion. But there are just some places my mind never wanted to go. Like the public display of big girl panties at the park. I don't want to even contemplate WHY this woman thought anyone wanted to see the sample panties from Omar the Tent-and-Panty Creator. To me, your drawers should be personal, not on display in a public park. Especially not while you are wearing them. My brain just did a total vapor lock, and didn't start really working again for at least 12 hours. It was that bad.
And just so no one things I am picking on big girls, I've got news for you. Hey all you skinny look-like-you-did-the-crack-makes-you-lose-weight diet...if your jeans are tight enough that I can not only tell you are wearing a thong, but can also tell that it came from WalMart, well guess what? You need to find a seam-ripper and take those fuckers off. There is such a thing as too tight. Really.
I readily admit that I went through my bad fashion sense era as well. In high school. At my age, fashion is anything that doesn't require liposuction, a can opener, the use of WD-40, or baling straps and a come-along to wear. If it looks adorable on that 12 year old girl next door, then I am thinking it's maybe not so much for me. Although I do still maintain my passion for hooker shoes. Some things you just never outgrow, I guess.
Dear God, it's finally happened. After all these years, I just turned into my mother. What an epiphany. On that note, I'm getting the hell off here and going to bed. So what if it's only 4 in the afternoon. I feel a case of the vapors coming on. Tomorrow is another day. Christ, tomorrow is MONDAY. This just keeps getting better and better. Forget bed. I am going to my happy place. I'll be back by Tuesday. Bye!
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