#3

Thursday, March 20, 2008
My Introduction to the Lickter Scale
Current mood: used
Category: Friends
So as I sat around swimming in my own sea of self-doubt, my friend called to fill me in on her new personal trainer. She chatted about him for a few minutes, and summed it up by saying that he rated a 15 on the Lickter Scale. Which, it seems, only goes to 10. Of course this little pearl grabbed my attention. Never one to let something this juicy pass me by, I had to ask about the Lickter Scale. The Lickter Scale was created in response to the way men rate a woman’s fuckability quotient. Only it is much more thought intensive, and strict. Let’s face it, a man can throw a flag over any woman, and do her for his country and patriotism.
Women aren’t built like that. There has to be appeal. On more than one level.

Sean Connery, for example, shall always rate a 10 or higher on the Lickter Scale, but Nicholas Cage tends to be on a downward slide.Tom Cruise, playing volleyball in the movie Top Gun, scores a resounding 12, but hit about a 2 during his Oprah interview. There is Mel Gibson, that moves between a 4 and a 7 depending on just what he is doing. I’d rate Michael Chikless as at least a 14, George Clooney as an 11, Conan O’Brien as a 2. Are you with me so far?

In order to rank highly on this scale, not only must he have the look, he must have the personality, the moves, and the attitude.He can be the best looking thing in the world, but ruin it all the minute he opens his mouth and allows his brain to fall out of it. Then again, he may not be drop dead hot, but makes up for it with personality and attitude, thereby making him more appealing. The ones that grow on you that way are the dangerous ones, by the way. They are the ones that sort of sneak up on you, smacking you right between the eyes with sex appeal you never noticed, and always at the worst possible moment.

I have been trying to classify the men I know since learning of this scale. It makes me realize a lot of things. Like the fact that I don’t know all that many men. And most of the ones I do know, score fairly low on this scale, with a few notable exceptions. Don’t even look for them to be listed here. Are you nuts??? I’m not giving them away for everyone to enjoy, for Pete’s sake! They think they know who they are, which is funny enough if you really think about it. Because the ones that think they rate a high score are the ones I am least worried about. It’s the few, the proud, the dangerous, that scare me. And they shall remain nameless. If they know how highly they ranked, it will go straight to the ego, ruining a perfectly good thing. And I am sick of being everybody’s ego-stroke. Stroke your own, already!

But for now, I will continue to learn and utilize this wonderful new tool. No pun intended. Give it a try. You might really be amazed at how you start to see the men around you.