#5

Saturday, November 17, 2007
Semen smells like bleach
Current mood: lonely
Category: Friends
It happens all the time. and usually when I need it most, today being one of those times. I get an email from a friend of mine, the usual, hey-how-ya-doing chatty glimpse into the life of a woman even crazier than I am. In the middle of the inane chatter about high gas price, high milk prices, and I-hate-my-job descriptives, was a single sentence. "Did you ever notice that semen smells like bleach?" And that was all she said on that particular subject..

Now I confess that up until that very point in time, I had NOT noticed that semen smelled like anything, much less bleach. But now rampant images of exactly how one makes this determination blitz through my head. I mean, can you imagine sitting around one night, and deciding that for kicks, you want to get a snootful of semen to see how it smells?? I have never sniffed semen, so I can only imagine. I can also imagine the look on the potential semen-contributing partners face, when you ask for rapid ejaculation, just for the olfactory thrill of it all. And of course, since I am not the most sexually active person in the world these days, it could be eons before I ever get to find out if her statement is true.

But my mind works overtime, as everyone knows, so the thought process did not end there, and that is what really scares me. Ok, so if it smells like bleach, does that mean bleach tastes like semen?? I even grossed myself out on that one, and slammed the door on that particular thought process. But its amazing what my mind can do with that one statement. It opened up a plethora of possibilities. A more enjoyable way to get whiter whites. Ejaculation sanitiation for all your household germs. See? It could go on forever.And since my minds works in overdrive, it probably will.

In the middle of all these thoughts about bleach and semen, it hit me. Beybey sent this to me. Which won't mean a thing to you, I know. Let me explain. My beloved dear friend Beybey is 60 years old, and a single grandmother. Which gives me hope for the future. I may be single, and lonely right now. But it appears that my potential sperm-sniffing days are not over. There is still lots of time for that!