And finally #6

Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Shrek Feet and a Bad Hair Day
Current mood: devious
Category: Life
Ok so I have been getting some grief from my friends about not keeping this new blog up the way I used to with my old one. So, I am now making a concerted effort to update my blog and use a lighter tone and mood while doing it. So...

Let's start with laughs. I drove a stand up forklift today for the first time ever in my life. While I was not amused at all, apparently everyone else thought it was hysterical. That shit is all backwards, and so I almost ran over two RTV's a three tractors, and my partner. I may be able to park an ambulance or engine sideways on a diving board, but I suck at forklift maneuvering. I almost parked that bastard in the bathroom for Christ sake. Which was not, by the way, what I was aiming for. At all. Thank God for emergency brakes. I now gaze at anyne that can actually drive one of those things with a healthy admiring respect. And a little envy. They say I will get the hang of it. I am just wondering what all I am going to run over in the process. Updates as they happen on the driving lessons.

I almost got Daddy Rabbit in a sneak rubber band attack. Almost. But alas, I failed, and what's more he shot back! But I guess I can accept defeat in a battle gracefully. I will win the war. And it's good to see him playful again. He was getting too serious there for a while. And for what it's worth, I got his back in his effort to stop smoking. No matter what. If he quits, then hell YES for him, but if he can't, well...tomorrow is another day. Keep smiling Daddy!! That's the beauty of friends. We stand by your decisions (no matter how much we dog you about them) but don't turn away if it turns out to be wrong. Or badly timed. Or of you get cranky from the lack of nicotene. I can't wait to see you dance though!!

So I was having a bad hair day today. You know the one...you can see that one piece of hair that just will not behave out of the corner of your eye. I was helpless to fix it. It just flopped there like a landed fish. For the first part of the day it did not bother me too much, but by about noon, it was giving me a headache. It just kept waving there, in the corner of my eye, teasing me, daring me to find some shears and lop it off. Which I did not do. Note to self...do not fall asleep after showering until your hair is dry. Furthermore, do not drive into work with wet hair and an open sun roof. And I think that just about covers the hair thing.

Shrek feet. This is a normal thing for me these days. Let's face it, 8 hours of walking in steel toed shoes is enough to muck up anyone's pedicure, but my feet are swollen to unbelievable proportions at the end of each day. Men wish they could experience this kind of swelling without the side effects of Viagra. Although why they consider a 4 hour erection a side effect is beyond me. Most men would be proud of that, and I would be thrilled to meet him...But I digress. Back to my feet. Toenail polish never holds up to a regular work week. I have toes that look like snausages...you know...those puppy treats??? All that is missing is the charming green hue and bad Scottish accent. I have lotions, scrubs, buffer thingies and polishes and still I have ugly feet now. Damned gainful employment fetish. How will I ever find a man with Shrek feet????

Speaking of men...there is this one guy that is very, very appealing.....but that's another blog for another day.