20 things you don't know about me

I have so many people that think they know me, who I am, what I stand for. They don't. Not at all actually. If you want to really get to know me, start with this...

#1. I am a very private person, moreso now than even 3 months ago, so telling you 19 more things is going to be very hard.

#2. I love horror movies, but not gross out movies. The Saw movies are gross out movies.

#3. My friends have now, out of necessity, become my aquaintances.

#4. I enjoy being female, but I detest being girly.

(This is a lot harder than I thought it would be)

#5. I have become a consummate actress, and I promise, you have no idea what I am actually thinking.

#6. I have cried myself to sleep, and pretended the next day that I couln't be happier.

#7. My children are the single most important thing in my life. Anytime I have tried to add a person to that, I fail miserably.

#8. I am not religious, but I am very spiritual.

#9. I have lousy judgement when it comes to relationships, both intimate and platonic. I suffer the Pollyanna complex, and hate to believe that people I trust and love could be anything other than perfect.

#10. I am a hopeless romantic. I love holding hands, moonlit strolls on the beach, cuddling by the fire, all the cheesy hallmark stuff.

(halfway there, and it's only taken me 40 minutes so far)

#11. I am a creature of habit most of the time, so when I break my habit, it tends to upset those around me.

#12. I believe in love, but it's not something I will let myself feel anymore.

#13. I have no patience for drama. When I am feeling dramatic myself, I tend to push peole away and shut down. When this happens, let me.

#14. I adore dark chocolate, and have for years. No candy fads for me!

#15. I enjoy dressing up nicely. After years and years in uniforms, dressing is a nice change.

#16. I have extremely expensive taste, even though I can no longer afford to have it. It's one of the habits I have yet to overcome.

#17. I love high heels. Ok, so maybe you do know that about me, but being open about 20 things is really really hard. So I fudged a little.

#18. I am upset when I walk into a store and have to find the english translation for the hispanic signs.

#19. I don't do casual sex. It makes me feel sleazy and scummy. I think I am worth more than that.

#20. My favorite color is like my eyes. It changes with my mood. Currently I have 3 which are black, blood red, and dark green.

This was actually pretty hard for me to do. Once I realized that it's better to not discuss work or anything at all with co-workers, and it's better to keep my private life private, even from my closest friends, I realized that I am very limited on what I am comfortable saying for public consumption.

Some people are an open book, and it works out well for them. For me, sharing my thoughts and ideas, hopes, dreams, and secrets cost me more than I was willing to pay. So when you think you really know me, think again. I promise you don't.