I spent most of yesterday feeling like the ass end of a dead goat, curled up on either the sofa or my bed, staring at the idiot box. I already suffer from remote control A.D.D. but when I am sick, it's worse. Everything bugs me when I am sick, so I can't ever find anything that makes me happy. SO there I was, channel surfing like crazy, when I stumbled onto this channel showing excerpts from court proceedings. It stopped me dead in my tracks because the first word (or non-word) I heard was believableness.
Since vocabulary is a pet peeve of mine for some unknown and ungodly reason, I had to stop and see what kind of idiot actually said it. Drumroll please.........it was an attorney for the prosecution. And apparently she liked the way it sounded so much she used it five more times before she finally sat her ignorant butt down. By that time, I was twitching like a spastic on crack, wanting to yell at the televison, and mostly the courtroom, to tell them her vocabulary greatly detracted from her believableness of actually having a college degree. My daughter, who tends to get all mommy-like when I am sick, was laughing so hard at me she almost fell off the end of the sofa. And unable to contain herself, she said "You know, mom, IRREGARDLESS of how you feel about it...." In case nobody knows, my daughter is the consummate smart ass.
She is also very aware of how anyone saying irregardless is guaranteed to make me crazy. My ex-husband used to say that all the time. And for the first 10 years of our marriage, I bit my tongue and let him say it. The last 5, I couldn't do it anymore, and there are times I wonder if that contributed to the downfall of my marriage.....yeah, not really.
Anyhoo, this twit had me so worked up that the pounding in my head doubled, causing the upset stomach to kick into overdrive. I stumbled off to the bathroom to yark up what was left of my spleen, mumbling under my breath about what I would do to her believableness if I ever caught her within 50 feet of me. I got over her vocabulary disaster quickly though. When you throw up your toes, it has a way of focusing your attention on only one thing. Not throwing up anymore. I curled up on my bed after, and watched Ghost Adventures instead. I don't care what they talk about and how they say it. Zak Bagans and Nick Groff are just eye candy, and Aaron Goodwin is just goofy enough to be appealing in a strange, creepy kind of way.
Thankfully, today is a new day, and I feel a lot better. Fever gone, headache down to a dull roar, and no more throwing up. I need to find that channel again, and see what other little pearls of wisdom Ivy League idiots can come up with!
Have a great day!
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