Freakishly Large Breasts

So, there I was, goofing off on the internet yesterday, surfing really dumb funny pictures on a variety of sites. I admit it. I was looking for mindless entertainment. My mind wanders easily, so it doesn't take much to distoh my god, would you look at that!! Anyway. I stumbled on a picture that just screamed the name of a friend. I shit you not. I saw his name in huge neon letters when I saw this picture. I have no idea why, really. Yes, he is an affirmed titty idiot, but all men are, so why I thought of him is anybody's guess.

I digress. I saw the picture, so I did what any good friend would do. I copied it and posted it to his facebook page. It seems that some boobs are just too big, even for all the titty idiots out there. But of course, being a man, he just had to say he wanted to see her naked. Herein lies the dilemma. As a friend, I was determined to find him the picture he requested. As a mom, I knew I would die a thousand deaths if my daughter caught me looking for this picture. As a Facebook addict, I knew I would get a big old facebook boot up my ass if I posted it, once I found it. Well hell.

Yep, this morning I was surfing porn sites, looking for nekkid titanic titties. I figured if I found a picture to suit him, I could work out the details later. I am dilligent as hell, so of course, I found a picture. Not the orginal girl, but a close substitute. I even worked out all the logistics. I copied it to my hard drive, sent him a private message, attached the picture, and of course I added a note. He already thinks I am a certified helmet-wearing-window-licking-crayon-eating headcase anyway. No need to make it any worse, right? Now I just have to remember to remove the picture from the hard drive before my daughter gets on here.

The point to this little tale is this. If you ever feel bad about being short on boobage, go look at some of these pictures. I want you to know I feel positively sexy after that little adventure. There are boobless women, there are small boobs, medium boobs, big boobs, droopy boobs, skinny ones, fat ones, flat ones, even concave ones. (I swear to God. Just google freakishly large breast images) But there is nothing as creepy as a womans breasts that weigh more than I do. I may be small breasted, and I amy be rockin the muffin top look at the moment, but at least I CAN rock. And roll, and bathe independantly, and tie my own shoes. I can sleep on my stomach. If you are very good at what you do I can sleep on YOUR stomach. She can't.

This meeting of the itty bitty titty committee is now in session...